Do you believe you need to be punished or aren’t deserving of having it all?
I’m always seeing patterns in my community. I have several Facebook groups for my varying group coaching programs and also for our exclusive Done With Dieting groupwhich you can join here 🙂
I read all the posts and a common theme is stopping and starting, not staying committed and then feeling bad because of it.
Um, so been there!
This habitual self-sabotage is a vicious cycle and I’m committed to breaking women from it, because it’s freaking amazing on the other side!
What’s crazy though is, as much as we hate it, breaking free feels even scarier because it’s become our comfort zone.
Now stay with me here, because shitz (excuse the language) is gonna get crazy.
It’s not that you LOVE staying stuck or aren’t enough or are broken and can’t ever change…
This ties to a much deeper issues that goes back to childhood as you’ve heard me talk about before, or to a time in your life when you experienced trauma, deep hurt, loss or lack.
There are many pieces to the incredibly dynamic women we are, we do not have one face, but many. We have varying persona’s depending on our mood, our environment, our state of being.
Sometimes I’m a sexy siren…yes ladies…it’s quite awesome! 😉 Other times I’m shy and introverted, other times I’m a class clown or look bohemian, or go fully classy, like Jackie O. This is the beauty of being a woman.
But in all of us there is our little girl, our inner child, who needs love, acknowledgement and to be held safe.
We forget about her, but the reality is, she’s running the show. Yes, the 8 year old little girl version of you is making the adult you, decisions.
Read that one again so it really sinks in…
How do you like that? So when you ignore her, she rebels. When you are mean to yourself, she’s hurt and wants comfort…i.e. food. That’s where your coping mechanism came from. It’s a form of self-soothing.
I do this work in my program over months, but below are some key tips you can start using today!
Here are tips to love up your little girl up, so the adult you can break your patterns of self-sabotage.
1. Remind her she is safe and that you are all grown up, happy and ready to replace food with fun, love and freedom, with you.
What I feel very much from many of you, is that you say you want to, but when it comes time, you choose food and inside are not willing to let go.
Really read that and take it is, is that true for you? If so, it’s time to change that and it’s not some elaborate detailed plan that is needed, it’s you simply saying you’re done and choosing you over and over again until it becomes 2nd nature. I did it, you can do it.
2. Take it one day at a time. NO MORE FUTURE TRIPPING or living in regret, shame, guilt or the past…IT’S OVER. Yes I am lovingly shouting… 🙂
3. Choose you over food. Food cannot replace human connection or love for oneself. Everything you seek is there for you, waiting, but the more you eat, the more you block yourself from your highest self and your deepest desires coming true. If you want to read more about this go here.
4. Please ask yourself these important questions:
Do you believe you need to be punished on some level?
Do you believe you are deserving of feeling bad?
Do you believe you need to struggle or work really hard for what you want?
Do you believe you can’t have it?
If the answer is yes to any or all of the above, take time to recognize where this belief started for you. Share your answers and thoughts in the Done With Dieting group now. You’re not alone in this struggle, the first step getting out of isolated thinking.
This work is deep and has many layers, but do this and the freedom from food is yours and body is yours!
5. Take time to connect with yourself daily, not once month or year, but daily, ask your inner child what she needs. Then listen to the whispers. She will tell you and I know the answer is not more food.
Read this over and over and ask yourself these questions. Now is your time, are you going to claim it?
I know you can do this, you need to choose you each day and love you no matter what the outcome.
HEAR THIS: the food you eat doesn’t make you a bad person or good person. Your thoughts do.
Turn your thoughts to love and let go.
Radiantly Yours,
Melissa