Hi,

Without fail, there is something that occurs in every reinvention.

The messy middle.

And I have to tell you, this past week in Juno Beach felt really crunchy for me.

There were things that came up within my family. A health scare with my father. And let’s just talk about the astrology with the eclipses, because talk about emotions being on high alert, feeling triggered, and having all of your core wounds come to the surface.

And when you’re doing all of that while you’re also in a huge phase of a life transition—I’m getting ready right now to go to Italy—it can bring up a lot.

It brought up a lot for me.

The messy middle is hard. The messy middle feels exactly that: messy.

There’s no logic around it.

You can be doing “all the things” and feel like you’re moving forward in so many ways. One day, you can feel the high of life is so amazing, and the next day, you can be completely taken out.

That’s part of life.

But I’ve also found it’s a big part of reinvention.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about it because one of the things I’m committed to is sharing the messy middle, not just the highlight reel.

And this past week was hard.

It felt crunchy.

My father had a health scare. I was feeling trepidation around going to Italy. There were a lot of changes happening. I had to have a talk with my team. I came to different realizations about myself.

Because here’s something else I’ve learned:

When you decide you’re going to up-level your life, it doesn’t happen in one neat little area.

It starts up-leveling every area.

And in order to up-level, you also have to say goodbye to the stuff that isn’t working.

You have to look at yourself.

You have to step into rooms, spaces, decisions, and conversations that feel crunchy too.

That was me this week.

I often talk about living intentionally through themes, and August for me has been about refinement and integration, which I shared with you in a previous letter. [READ IT HERE.]

And maybe this is refinement too.

Because the messy middle is just that. It’s messy.

It doesn’t always make sense.

You can be doing all the things “right,” but change is still messy.

Doing anything unfamiliar is scary.

Because even when we don’t like the way we’ve been living—even when our weight is the same, our money is the same, our relationships are the same, our life is the same—it’s familiar.

And in order to create change, you have to step into a new version of you.

That’s what I’m constantly doing.

I’m always going higher.

And to go higher, I’m constantly putting myself in places where imposter syndrome can show up. I’m stepping into rooms where I’m stretched.

And I’ve learned that the stretch is what shows me I’m growing.

I’m changing.

Because I’m not here to stay the same.

I’m here to live the Bold Life.

And this week, I needed that reminder.

And I’m going to tell you—that’s why you’re here too.

You’re not here to live Groundhog Day.

You’re not here to play small.

You’re not here to stay the woman you were ten years ago.

And if you haven’t been scared, if you haven’t felt crunchy, if everything has felt super easy, then, my beautiful friend, maybe it’s time to push outside the box. Push your boundaries.

Ask yourself:

What am I afraid of when it comes to really living?

Because this past week, when I had a scare with my father, life became the question mark again.

I lost my mom.

And when something happens with my dad, it makes me look at my own life and ask:

Am I living?

Am I playing full out?

Am I loving what I’m doing?

Am I choosing each day to be the best of me in every way?

Am I waking up and refusing to let my emotions guide me, my fears dictate who I can and can’t be, or my past define me?

Am I deciding who I am going to be instead?

And maybe that’s what the messy middle is really about.

The messy middle is about refinement.

The messy middle is about coming home to yourself.

The messy middle is about not abandoning the big dream or the version of you who wants more.

Because there’s a part of you in the messy middle that wants to go back to what’s familiar.

To drop into the old version.

To ask:

Who am I to have this much goodness?

Who am I to dream this big?

Who am I?

Well, I’m here to remind you.

And I’m here to hold the highest and best version of you, just like I do with myself each day.

One of the things that supports me in doing that is my God Walk.

When I go on these walks, I speak my dreams into existence.

I say them out loud.

I repeat them like mantras to remind myself of this next-level identity.

And without fail, I end my walk empowered, inspired, activated, and motivated to keep going higher.

If you want to do that with me, come walk with me. 

You are not your fears.

And you are not your past.

The messy middle is the space where you haven’t fully cemented your next-level identity yet.

And as I found myself in my own messy middle this week, I kept reminding myself:

Stay the course.

Keep cementing in the next level.

Go even higher.

Push past this.

Breathe through it.

Stretch into it.

And there’s something else I do when I’m in the messy middle.

I go into my workout and lift a heavier weight.

I stretch deeper.

I feel into the next level.

I embody her.

I envision her.

I speak as her.

I hold her.

I integrate her into my body so I can feel her.

It’s my way of reminding my mind and my body:

We are stretching into the next level now.

And that’s my invitation to you.

If you’re in the messy middle, know that maybe you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

It means you’re growing. You’re stretching. You’re going higher.

Your job isn’t to abandon yourself.

Your job isn’t to shrink.

Your job is to keep cementing in your next-level identity by taking even bolder actions.

So ask yourself:

How can I live my Bold Life more courageously, with more conviction and more confidence, today?

And then do that.

I’ll be doing it right alongside you.

With love,

Melissa Kathryn