Hi,

Ciao Bella,

Can you believe I’ve officially been in Italy for a month?

As I head into October, I’ve been thinking about everything September gave me. The experiences, the adjustments, the unexpected moments, and especially the lessons.

And one of the biggest was actually something I already knew, but apparently needed to be reminded of again:

The beautiful, extraordinary life happens because I decide to create it.

And I don’t just mean making the big decision to move to another country for three months.

I mean what happens after the bold move.

Because I can come all the way to Italy, but the friends aren’t simply going to find me. The events aren’t going to keep appearing if I don’t seek them out and go. The adventures aren’t going to happen if I don’t research them, plan them, book them, and put them on the calendar.

Another week can go by surprisingly quickly without much actually happening.

And what I was beautifully reminded of this month is that some of the most incredible experiences of my life didn’t just happen to me.

I sought them out.

I planned them. I researched them. I booked them. I put myself in the rooms and situations where extraordinary things could happen.

I participated in creating them.

And maybe I needed that reminder again.

Because at least for me, it can be very easy after a long day, while juggling multiple things, or simply being comfortable in my own space, to think, I’ll stay in tonight. I’ll do it another day. I have time.

Until another day becomes another week.

And I live by the motto Midlife Is the Main Stage™.

If I believe that, then I also have to live like it.

At this stage of my life, time feels like one of my greatest assets, my greatest currencies, and my greatest privileges. I don’t want to waste it waiting for my life to become extraordinary on its own.

I want to participate in making it extraordinary.

That means putting things on the calendar. Declaring what I want. Making decisions. Committing, even when I don’t know exactly how I’ll feel that day. Going when staying home might be easier.

One of the gifts of being here for three months is knowing this isn’t forever. There is a date on the calendar when this chapter ends, and that has made me look at my time differently.

September was a month of arriving. Adjusting. Calibrating. Finding my footing in a new country and a new chapter of my life.

And now, heading into October, something has shifted.

I don’t just want to be here. I want to live here.

Fully.

And what I know now is that this lesson has nothing to do with Florence.

Because when I return to the States, the same rule applies.

Wherever I am, whatever chapter I’m living, I don’t want life to pass me by while I’m waiting for something extraordinary to happen.

This chapter of my life is by my design, not by default.

That, to me, is one of the greatest gifts of midlife.

And one of the greatest gifts of living a Bold Life.

Bold moves are beautiful. They can expand your world, push you out of your comfort zone, and open doors you couldn’t have seen from where you were standing.

But making the bold move doesn’t guarantee the experience.

There’s still a question waiting for you on the other side:

Who are you once you’ve made the declaration?

Who are you once you’ve made the commitment, booked the flight, left the relationship, started the business, moved to the city, said yes to the dream?

What’s her identity?

How does she show up now?

For me, part of backing up the Bold Life I say I want is remembering that I’m the author.

And my life is going to reflect what I write.

So is yours.

We are all writing our next chapter, whether we realize it or not. And our lives begin to reflect what we put on those pages. What we put on the calendar. What we choose. What we keep postponing. What we make room for.

I remind myself of this often:

If my life were a book and I were reading it, would I want every page to look the same?

Or would I want to read the kind of chapter where I can’t wait to see what happens next?

Where even I don’t know exactly what’s coming because I’m still brave enough to surprise myself.

Because at the end of this big, beautiful life, it’s me with me.

And I get to ask:

Did I choose extraordinary?

Did I play full out for me?

Did I do things scared?

Did I allow myself to have the dreams?

Did I choose from possibility and opportunity, or did I let my limitations decide for me?

Did I choose joy, or did I let fear lead?

And today, on this beautiful day in Florence, Italy, I want to remind you of the same thing I’m reminding myself:

You’re holding the pen.

Not someday.

Now.

So pick up your journal and write what happens next.

Not what seems most realistic. Not what makes the most sense on paper. Not what keeps everyone else comfortable.

Write what you actually want.

And then look at the woman who lives that chapter.

What does she decide?

What does she put on the calendar?

Where does she go?

What does she finally stop postponing?

Because the next chapter isn’t something we wait to discover.

We get to write it.

Rewrite the Rules,

Melissa Kathryn