I was hiking with my friend and I in Malibu on Saturday and we had this enlightened discussion about coaching (we’re both coaches) and how detrimental it can be, to hire or even follow the wrong coach, guide, therapist, psychic, medium, influencer, expert…LOL. There are so many options now!
I want to share this because I have heard horror stories and have a few of my own around hiring coaches, mentors and buying programs where I was left in a worse place than when I started…never a good thing. I’m hoping to keep you from doing the same.
This is us, the view was incredible, I wish you could have been there!
She shared with me how challenging it was for to build her business after a certain coaching experience she had, where her coach spoke about limitations and how we all them and they get in the way.
This was the first time she ever heard this and began to believe she had them soon after and created negative stories around what she was no longer able to achieve due to her so-called, “limitations”. This stayed with her for years.
In another instance we both shared how we had an extremely toxic experience with a mutual business coach, who’s own beliefs about the need to sacrifice, grind, and struggle was a part of being successful. This belief got instilled in us and, now even years later, she and I had to do a lot of mindset work to shift and peel back those layers to create balance and the business life we wanted.
I shared with her how I never ever had issues with romantic love, until I had a random “love coach” (who needed clients – I now know this in retrospect) tell me, I was struggling and needed to invest if I wanted to find love. I truly didn’t think anything was wrong with me before that day, as I had always been in beautiful, healthy and happy relationships, but I bought into her philosophy as she pointed out things she saw, like being 30 and single and made me feel like that was wrong and therefore I was broken in some way.
My point being, I wasn’t grounded enough in my truth to say “um, nope, I’m good!” Or, that’s not the way I need to work to be successful. I instead bought into this belief I was not enough in some way. I bought into the story and then created a long line of supporting evidence for why it was true and before long, I was attracting in my exact new negative story about myself and love.
Name, have you ever heard negative feedback, criticism or unkind words and began to believe it was true?
This is how quickly our negative minds want to hop on a belief and create it as our reality.
It’s a tricky space to give someone power over you. I always, always tell my clients, you have to listen to yourself first. I teach them how to hear their inner guidance and how to trust it, while we build their belief in themselves.
I see my role as giving them wings to fly, not to keep them down. I am here to enhance the beauty that is already them, not to diminish it or have them be “mini me’s” but to shine sooo bright!
My friend too, got caught up in needing to be fixed. And I did too, it’s easy when there are things you want, to start to question if something is wrong with you, especially if your desire is really strong to have it.
I had business coaches tell me I would never be able to create the business I have, or that I needed to do X in order to be successful.
They were wrong…the ones that have been right, are the ones that believed in me and trusted my vision even and most of all my dreams (even if they scared me or seem crazy) and knew how guide me there, while working with my inner guidance.
I ALWAYS tell my clients and I’m telling you, invest in your WHOLENESS not your brokenness.
You are perfect, name, there is nothing wrong with you and everything right with you.
No matter what you desire, make sure you enlist support from people who believe in you, and follow people who inspire you, that support your dreams and desires, that you trust and are telling you the whole truth, not what they want you to see. Who share messages of inspiration and truth.
Most of all, someone who sees a vision greater than your own, and knows your true hearts desire and supports you in having that!
Not someone who makes you feel bad, wrong, not enough or sways you from what your heart is telling you because they want you to do it their way.
You have the guidance in you. Learn how to harness that and enlist support from those who sees that, and helps you cultivate it, believing in you endlessly.
I hope this helps as I often receive emails about this very thing.
Much Love,
Melissa